When I was at school, studying for A levels, my brother died after a short illness. Returning to school I was greeted by a kindly teacher. He said he was glad to see me back; he was very sorry about Rob but it was time to focus and study for my exams – ‘to get back to normal.’ I knew he meant well but what I heard was - ‘shut up and be quiet’….

Conversation is a tool, in the background, helping us to coordinate, collaborate, adapt and think together; to get the work done. We pay more attention when unsafe or unexpected things happen. Our investigations into why there has been a failure to communicate, usually focus on the acts and omissions of individual actors. Their failure to share what they knew and saw…

Conversation is how we get things done and is something we can take for granted in the business of our work lives. Most of the time our conversations work; we collaborate and get the work done safely and efficiently. When things go wrong, it pays to examine how our conversations enable some and silence others…

We are finally in a face to face leadership programme, six months after the pandemic. My colleague and I are with a  group of clinical leaders, from the same organisation. They have been quiet for most of the two days of their programme. Attentive, thoughtful but quiet. Their quiet feels like a communication and hard to decipher…